Tried ‘Everything’ but STILL Stressed?

Exhausting isn’t it?

It’s disheartening when we feel like we’ve been trying everything to feel better yet nothing seems to be working.

Often leading us to give up and resigning to the idea that this is how life is, wondering if you should just ‘get on with it.’

It’s common place to leave our dreams on the table and reside ourselves to jobs we dislike, average relationships and mediocre health.

We end up playing small, but knowing deep down we’re meant for more yet never getting a taste of what ‘more’ feels like.

It can become too easy to live in resentment of what could have been and witness our self-esteem drop to an all-time low, leaving us feeling alone and looking for relief in mindless ways.

Needless to say, all areas of life either tick along complacently or begin to suffer.

But the thing is, you KNOW it doesn’t have to be that way.

Which is why you’re reading this article.

You can sense there’s just a missing piece of the puzzle that you haven’t found yet.

And deep down, you have faith in yourself to find it.

You know that you CAN live your dream.

You CAN have epic relationships full of love, laughter, belonging, intimacy and deep connection.

You CAN create a life based on what’s important to YOU.

You CAN feel a sense of freedom and peace of mind.

You CAN perform at your highest levels – and enjoy it!

You CAN feel an unshakable sense of certainty and adventure.

You CAN leave the legacy you desire.

You know this to be true,

And you are so right!

It’s more than possible, and today we’re going to reveal the missing puzzle pieces for you.

If you feel like you’ve tried everything but still stressed out of your mind and experiencing stress patterns like; self-sabotage, overthinking, anxiety, overwhelm, depression, fatigue, feeling stuck, lost or experiencing unwanted behaviours then pay close attention to what we’re sharing today.

First please know that stress can be a symptom of not having the foundational well-being strategies in place to deal with day to day stress.

Before you go any further I’d strongly advise you check to make sure you’ve included the 8 wellness practices in your quest for stress-relief. These are easy wins that can be enough to eliminate your stress and get you back on track.

You can read more about those here.

Or you can take a few minutes and complete a quiz we created, it’ll give you a score based on how well you have these strategies dialed in.

Unfortunately for many people it can be tricky to embody healthy practices and this in itself is a signal that there is something deeper going on that needs our attention.

Underneath the way we present ourselves to the world there’s a part in all of us that requires our attention at some point in life.

Often it takes a significant emotional event or a heightened level of pain for us to shine a light on it.

For me, it took hitting rock bottom and coming close to ending my own life. In that moment I knew something had to change. I didn’t know what it was at the time but I hoped there was more to life than the tormenting thoughts and painful emotions I was feeling.

Regardless of our wake-up call, whether it be a near death experience, a divorce, a spiral of depression or anything else.

We all have a pivotal moment where we need to take a closer look inside.

We call this our Root Level. (You can read more about that here)  

When stress gets too much and we feel like we’re running out of options, the root level is what needs our attention.

At our root level, we’re revealing the conditioning of who we are at the core.

Everything at this level is influencing our quality of life and how we feel mentally, emotionally and physically.

Our root level explores key areas that have the power to create lasting positive change in our lives.

These areas are:

If you’ve ever found it hard to stick to wellness practices, felt lost, get easily emotionally triggered or experience chronic issues. Or if you’ve ever felt like you're drowning, like wanting to explode or give up all together. Then you NEED to explore these areas.

Please Note: Always seek professional help when working with mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. The areas discussed in this article require a sensitive, compassionate and gentle approach.

See, as we grow up these areas are often hidden behind life’s distractions but in truth, this is what’s running the show.

It’s likely there is compounded stress from past experiences and patterns which need to be resolved.

When this happens, it’s common to see survival mechanisms here, like:

• The need to control outcomes
• The need to protect self and others
• Avoidance patterns such as withdrawing or deflection
• Co-dependency
• Seeking external validation
• Lack of vulnerability
• Retreating in shame, guilt or fear

If you can resonate with any of these, this is a sign your root level needs your attention sooner rather than later.

When we resolve underlying issues at the root level we integrate our shadow self. We truly embody who we are and the ability to self regulate becomes second nature.

We have a deep sense of knowing all is well and experience heightened states of contentment and peace. Plus, behaviour becomes highly efficient and we perform at the highest levels.

Of course, life will still have its challenges but the solutions will be anchored in a place of resource.

The areas shared in this article are worth exploring if stress isn’t being resolved through lifestyle and subtle every day changes.

Here’s what you can do NOW to start exploring how to create lasting change at the root of stress.

I can’t emphasize strongly enough how important it is to work through deeper issues with a professional who is qualified and experienced in the areas mentioned in this article.

Professionals in this field come with an array of qualifications and backgrounds so here’s some food for thought when it comes to the difference between a therapist and a coach.

Therapists are the ‘trauma surgeons’, like the emergency room personnel and paramedics of the mental health and well-being community.

Coaches on the other hand have a fully stocked first aid kit and skills to put it to good use, but are not trauma surgeons. A coach will assist you in creating changes in your life and (depending on their specialism) can help uncover areas of opportunity within your mental, emotional physical wellbeing.

Choose what feels right for where you are now, if you’re unsure you’re welcome to book a discovery call to gain clarity on what’s appropriate for you. If we’re a good fit to work together great, but the purpose of the call is to sign post you to what you need.

Grab your journal and start to reflect on the areas below. Notice what you feel resonates with you and where you feel could use more clarity or exploration. – AWARENESS is key.

Unresolved emotions often stem from lack of education in emotional awareness and wellbeing practices. Unfortunately, it’s still common place to ‘bottle up’ feelings and carry on with life without expressing them. This can lead to dis-ease, discomfort and an unhappy life.

Ask yourself, if you feel like you’re holding onto emotion from the past? Perhaps you recall memories and still hold strong feelings? If you don’t feel in control of emotions, it’s a sign there is emotion to release. There are many ways to do this, here at Wellness Theory we use Time Paradigm Techniques, Breathwork and Quantum Flow to help clients release unresolved negative emotions.

Do your thoughts and beliefs serve you? We learn how to think and what to believe from society and family dynamics. Unless we explore what we believe, we are operating in the world from inherited beliefs instead of consciously choosing our own.

Ask yourself, if the beliefs you hold are helping you create the life you want. Do you feel clear and content about what you believe? Are your beliefs holding you back in any way?

How we identify with ourselves effects how we show up in the world. If you see yourself as a shy person. You’ll be shy. If you see yourself as an anxious person. You’ll be anxious. If you see yourself as an ambition person. You’ll be ambitious. If you see yourself as a healthy person. You’ll be healthy. You’ll act based on what you believe about yourself.

Reflect on how you describe yourself internally. Consider what you identify yourself with. Ask yourself if this is aligned with the truth of who you are and the person you wish to grow into?

Values are what we consider to be most important in any context of our lives. Our subconscious will revert back to our values for our motivation fuel. They will determine our self-initiated motivation!

Values are our driving force, they are what we talk about, what we think about and are often a reflection of our lives. If we are aware of our values and we live aligned with our values we will have a higher sustained motivation. It is crucial for personal growth to be on a path that supports and nurtures your values.

Ask yourself what’s important in your life? What’s most important in your relationships? What’s most important in your health? What’s most important in your career? What’s most important in your environment? Ask yourself this question for every area of your life.

Habits and patterns are the building blocks of our life. Everything we do is a result of repeated behaviours.

First observe yourself and list all the habits and patterns you notice. Then list note which ones serve you and which ones don’t. Decide which habit’s you’d like to change and reflect on how to change them.

Everyone, regardless of gender encompasses both masculine and feminine energy. It’s the Yin and Yang that resides within us. These polarities influence how we feel and how well we function in relationships. Exploring our own masculine and feminine dynamic helps to bring them into balance which gives us a greater feeling of harmony and fulfilment.

Typically, the masculine energy is characterised by ‘doing’ and the feminine by ‘being’. Neither one is better or worse than the other, however our awareness allows us to nurture and navigate what we chose to call forward so we can show up consciously and intentionally.

Start to notice where you use logic and reason (masculine) or intuition and creativity (feminine) in your day. This will give you initial insight to how balanced your energy is.

Every adult has an inner child. Sometimes more than one. Often our stress is a symptom of a neglected part of ourselves. For example, needing to be seen and heard because we weren’t when we were a child. We try to meet unmet needs as adults.

Ask yourself, what do you feel was missing when you were a child? How can you be loving and compassionate to the younger version of you now? Can you be the adult you needed then and show your inner child that level of care?

The way we learned to form attachments with our care givers and family members teaches us relational skills. It is believed to be foundational and shapes the dynamics of all relationships we have in adulthood. The safer and more secure the bond between a child and their immediate care-figures, the safer and more secure the child feels in the world at large.

Reflect on your family relationships and see how you felt and how it could be influencing you today.

Self-regulation is the ability to bring ourselves back into balance without being reliant on external factors. Being able to manage our emotions, energy, thoughts and behaviours is vital for a happy relationships, high performance and healthy well-being. Our ability to regulate ourselves throughout life is the difference between feeling peace and alignment or discomfort and struggle.

How do you regulate yourself? Do you rely on other people? Substances? Entertainment? Yourself? Observe yourself and notice when you are regulated versus dysregulated.

Trauma is anything that jerks the nervous system out of rhythm, anything from abuse to waking up to loud noises creates a trauma response in our system. The intensity of traumatic experiences depends on the individual. Unresolved trauma affects daily life because it creates lasting effects on our nervous system, which influences how we perceive threats and how we think and feel in every day situations.

Here are a few signs of unresolved trauma that could be affecting daily life; inability to connect deeply with others, addictive behaviors, anxiety/panic attacks, confusion, depression, helplessness, zero self-worth, inability to deal with conflict, shame, intrusive thoughts, uncontrollable emotions, dissociation.

If you resonate with any of the above, seek professional support to help you resolve unresolved trauma in a healthy and safe way.

When we lack purpose in our life or unclear of what our purpose could be, it’s common to get distracted and end up on a path others set out for us rather than following our own. This leads us further away from our true selves and often ends up in ‘midlife crisis’ or an ‘identity crisis’. It can be frustrating and leave us feeling lost or in limbo about life.

You don’t have to have it ALL figured out but you do need to know how to tune into what lights you up and brings meaning to your life. Having a life’s purpose is about knowing your life’s message you can live the expression of your message every day. It’s about who you are, not where you’re going.

When we are clear on our life purpose, it’s easier to follow through on goals and act on what’s meaningful in your life. What could your life purpose be?

Everyone on the planet has survival, psychological and spiritual needs. However, most are unaware of what they are and many don’t know how to fulfil them. Even those who are aware of these needs struggle because they try to fulfil the needs out of order, which is like trying to run before we can walk. This is a huge sticking point for anyone who wants to life a happy, healthy and meaningful life. So here’s a quick overview of the needs:

Survival Needs

These are our basic physiological needs which keep our body functioning, these include; air, water, food, shelter, sleep, sex, warmth, rest and movement. Once these are met we search for safety.

In order to survive we must feel safe, within ourselves and in our environment. Feeling safe within ourselves requires an ability to self-regulate. Feeling secure in our environment is essential for safety and is why we feel calmer when we have a sense of order and control of our lives. We are drawn to financial security, law and order, social and emotional stability.

A common mistake most people make here, is create safety in their environment without first ensure they are feeling safe within themselves.

Psychological Needs

Once our survival needs are taken care of we need to fulfil our need to belong, experience esteem, feed our cognitive function and appreciate beauty and balance in all its forms.

Basic human needs to be fulfilled here include; Certainty, Variety, Love & Connection, Significance, Growth and Contribution.

If we neglect any one of these, it can result in depression, poor life satisfaction, neurological repercussions, anxiety and loss of identity.

Spiritual Needs

It’s in our nature to be curious, to want to grow and fulfil our potential. It’s natural to ‘seek’. However, the modern tendency has become to seek a destination, the classic ‘if then mentality’.“If I stop my anxiety then I’ll be happy” or “ If I earn a million dollars then I’ll live my dream”, but that’s not what our spiritual needs are about.

Our spiritual needs are about becoming who we really are, connecting to our true essence and it’s a continual process of living in the meaning we give to our lives.

Some people find this in religion, sport, artistic creation, parenthood, entrepreneurship, volunteering… it’s different for everyone.

The key is to call back your spirit and realise what makes your soul come alive.

If you struggle to think or observe yourself deeply in these areas then let’s hop on a call and shine some light on what your next steps could be.

Eliciting personal answers by ourselves can be tricky because we don’t know what we don’t know – but having support whilst exploring them will open you up to more awareness and faster resolutions.

Now I bet you’re thinking “That sounds like a lot!”

And you’re right it is a lot. But we are complex beings which require deeper exploration if we want to live a truly aligned and peaceful life.

The good news is, that some of these areas will already be in good shape compared to others. Which means you’re not starting from scratch.

Simply reflecting and being aware of the moving parts that are at play inside of us can start to relieve stress.

Hopefully, by revealing these puzzle pieces you can see that you aren’t crazy and there’s nothing wrong with you. This is what every human being has to contend with and you aren’t alone.

And even if you feel like you need further support but feel its scary to ask for help,

Please know you’re not alone in that too.

The fact that you’ve read this article until this point shows that you have the courage and the strength to work on this stuff.

The question is, if not now, then when?

If you’ve tried ‘Everything’ but are STILL stressed, If you’re exhausted and disheartened about where you are in life then it’s a signal that there is something deeper going on that needs your attention.

The root level is where we create lasting change in our life. It’s where you can finally be free from suffering and become so aligned that you can live the life you want.

A life of peace, adventure, freedom, love and laughter.

Sound good?

Here's 3 options for your next steps:

#1 - If you’d like to discuss anything you've read today, let's talk. 

#2 - Enjoy an influx of inspiration from those who have been in shows but chose to go all in and explore the areas described here, check out our client success stories.

#3 - Join us for our 'Solve Stress at the Root' Workshop:

Until next time,

Be Well, Mean Well and Make a Difference that Lasts,

Charlotte & Jonathan