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Stress Stacking: #1 Red Flag That’s Sabotaging Well-being & High Performance


 

Stress stacking, aka stress compounding, is THE most overlooked problem in wellbeing.

Typically, the average person wastes a lot of time fighting fires, trying to keep up with life and end up chasing their tail. Never really getting ahead. Often settling between being on the go and finding a moment to breathe.

High performers already know that low stress levels and quality use of time are crucial for living their best life. Which is often why they adopt strict routines and boundaries.

However, for both the average person and the higher performer there’s a bottle neck to progress, health and happiness.

No matter what level we’re playing at life, we’ll always be faced with new challenges if we want to keep progressing.

When we face these challenges, whether it be financial burden, relationship issues, health concerns or our own insecurities. It’s common to feel overwhelmed and even losing the ability to enjoy life. It can lead to feeling anxious, depressed or stress-induced physical pain.

What we’re experiencing is stress stacking.

 

Simply put, stress adds up.

Daily stress and past stress compounds over time.

Imagine waking up at the last minute, rushing out the door grabbing a coffee, getting stuck in traffic, resulting in being late for work.

Because of your late arrival, you miss your deadline, your boss is upset with you and you have to miss lunch and stay late at work to catch up.

Once you finally finish work, you get stuck in the evening traffic. Eventually you get home, and your family is upset because you missed dinner, and have no time or energy left for them. After feelings of frustration and disappointment you choose to numb yourself with mindless TV and eventually go to bed completely relieved that the day is over.

Imagine doing this day in day out for five days a week, just living and waiting for the weekend to be able to rest, recover and relax.

The problem is the 30% rest on the weekend doesn't offset the 70% stress of the week. If we don't address this, over time it adds up.

Now imagine doing this for weeks, months, years at a time.

Plus adding significant emotional events to the mix like losing a loved one, sickness and traumatic experiences.

Stress compounds even more.

Unfortunately, this is how the majority live.

Mental, emotional and physical stress building up more and more each day.

Granted, not everyone's day is like this, but everybody’s dealing with different stressors daily and most people have past issues they haven’t dealt with too.

One thing after the other, compounding on top of each other, causing us to be stressed in the long term.

This is stress stacking.

We’ve lost our grasp on what’s healthy vs unhealthy stress. 

 

A sign of unhealthy stress is when we’re unable to process it effectively. It affects our mental, physical and emotional wellbeing which overspills into all aspects of life.

 

 

The consequence of not processing unhealthy stress effectively, means we end up holding onto it.

 

 

We hold onto it and it creates unnecessary tension in our body, mind and heart – which can show up in life as a racing mind, feeling out of control of emotions or feeling physical pain (to name a few).

 

Some people still believe:

- It’s easier bottle things up

- Glossing over issues helps

- Unresolved negative emotions from the past don’t matter

- Hustling and grinding daily doesn’t have consequences

- ‘Manning up’ is the right way to handle stress

- Blaming others makes us feel better

- It’s possible to leave the past in the past with no reconciliation

- It’s ok to power through

- It’s a phase and it’ll pass on its own

- Tomorrows a new day, it’ll all be different one day.

 

Why do most people still believe this?

Because it’s what we’ve modelled and witnessed growing up.

Truth is we’ve all been stress stacking since we were babies, we've been always collecting it.

Quality of Thinking and Emotional Literacy isn’t often taught in schools or by parents.

So, unless you've had very conscious parenting the chances are you haven’t learned to deal with emotions and stress in a healthy way.

Most people are raised in environments where they're being exposed to parents who don't know how to deal with stress well. Parents unintentionally pass this down to their kids.

We then imitate their reactions to stress into adulthood.

 

We learn unhealthy coping mechanisms like:

- Exercising to excess

- Drinking alcohol to take the edge off

- Excessive working

- Abstaining from sex

- Withdrawing from friends and family

- Having conflicts with colleagues, family, friends and/or strangers.

- Eating too much or too little

- Staying indoors (away from nature)

- Sleeping less to be able to ‘do’ more.

- Procrastinating

- Using substances to feel better

Which ironically adds even more stress and we end up doing more harm than good.

Imagine, since you were a baby, every time you feel stress, or any kind of negative emotion in your life, you collect a small rock to symbolize the negative distress.

You place the rock into a backpack you’re carrying on your shoulders.

You add one rock every time you feel stress.

Every time you cry – you add a rock.

Every time you feel anger – you add a rock.

Every time you feel hurt – you add a rock.

Every time you feel sad or scared – you add rocks.

Every time you feel guilt or shame – you add more rocks.

Every time you put your body under stress – you add more rocks.

For every negative experience you add a metaphorical rock in your backpack and you carry it around with you everywhere you go.

Years go by and you’re still collecting your rocks, and the backpack is becoming heavier and heavier.

We feel the intensity of carrying the backpack.

It affects our ability to move through the world easily and effortless. It effects how we think and how we feel. It even influences the decisions we make.

This is exactly what stress stacking looks like in our life.

We're carrying around metaphorical rocks of stress in our bodies instead of an actual backpack.

The energy that comes from all of these different stressors gets stored inside of us.

It’s physically stored in our mind, body and heart.

Stress stacking has consequences and create big problems in our lives.

 

Over time stress stacking leads to what we call a ‘Stress Explosion’.

This when we hit our tipping point. Like snapping at someone, getting sick or burned out to the point of exhaustion.

It can look like struggling to sleep at night because there’s so much frenetic energy on your mind, and thoughts and feelings whirling around.

It often leaves us in a reactive state. Unfortunately, it can shift us from a place of mental or physical wellness to mental or physical illness.

These are some of the negative effects that can take place:

 

When clients come to us they have compounded so much stress that it’s causing big issues in their lives. For example, feeling overwhelmed with life, anxious, on edge, apathetic and/or depressed. Usually experiencing physical pain or tension too.

They've compounded so much stress over time, they feel paralyzed and don't know what to do.

It's affecting relationships with their loved ones, their work performance and their ability to achieve their goals.

We've been there too.

Almost everyone goes through this.

If you're experiencing this, you're not alone.

 

Instead of Stress Stacking - We Can Let It Go

 

Human-beings are the only species in nature who tend to store stress. If we look at the animal kingdom, as soon as they encounter a stressful situation they deal with it and then physically shake it off to let it go.

We need to do the same, our health, wellbeing and performance depends on it.

 

We need to let go on 3 levels:

1. Discharge physical tension

2. Let go of emotion

3. Relearn mental paradigms

Here’s how to start.

 

Short Term Solutions to Stop Stress Stacking from Now On

 

This might sound like a lot, but chances are you’re already doing some of these really well and there’ll only be a few areas you personally need to focus on.

1. Sleep

Often one of the most neglected areas of wellness but sleep yields a very high return for minimal effort. You can have the best nutrition, mindset and skills in the world but if your sleep quality is compromised it can cause suffering in the long-term. Easy wins here are fixing sleep timings, room temperature and lighting.

2. Breathing

When we take as little as 5 minutes per day to pause, we reconnect with our mind-body. We reset our natural breathing rhythm which allows our nervous system to rest and recover. An easy place to start is to inhale though the nose for 5 seconds, slight pause and exhale through the mouth for 5 seconds.

3. Movement

Honouring our body, the way nature intended through movement. It helps stress to flow out of our system easily and effortlessly. Yoga, swimming, gym workouts and walking are all simple but effective.

4. Nutrition and Hydration

Balanced food and water intake isn’t a diet. It’s a lifestyle choice which is sustainable and efficient. It gives your body all the nutrients it needs to function correctly. Simply optimising the times you eat and hydrating with clean water, celtic sea salts and lemon will give a massive boost.

 

5. Energy

Our energy is our greatest asset. For us to perform at our best we must learn how to utilise our energy in the most sufficient and resourceful ways. Taking time to ground barefoot in nature and work on something that gives us meaning in life is a quick way to improve this one.

 

6. Quality of Thinking

Our self-talk determines how we feel. It affects our ability to make healthy decisions. Resourceful self-talk is critical to experiencing an enjoyable quality of life. Journaling will help to raise self-awareness here and highlight changes needed.

 

7. Emotions

Our emotions are signals for us - what is good or not. It’s up to us to learn from them, accept them and let go of them. Acknowledging what we are feeling is the easiest way to prevent emotional suffering. Checking in with feelings daily will bring start to eliminate stress stacking.

 

8. Action

In life, we’re either moving away from what we don’t want, stuck in one place or moving towards what we want. To live a vibrant, happy and healthy life we must grow towards what we want. Audit your life and look for areas which need a shift in direction.

 

How do you think you’re doing in these 8 areas?

 

 

We’ve put together a super simple (and free) assessment tool to make it easy for you to check.

Click here >> It takes less than 5 minutes to complete, you’ll get a personalised report and unlock a bonus game plan session with one of our wellbeing specialists.

 

 

Long Term Solutions for Lasting

Stress-Relief

Mastering the 8 areas above will already set you on a healthy path, but to guarantee lasting change in your life it requires deeper work. To truly master high performance, health and happiness, the following will take you to the next level.

 

1.Reflect on what you’ve learned about how to deal with stress from care-givers, teachers and society.

 

It’s time to make your own rules about what truly works for you. What you thought was working – isn’t if you’re still struggling with stress.

 

2. Get the root cause of unresolved negative emotions.

 

Work with an expert in this field, there are many techniques. We use time paradigm techniques combined with breath-work as it’s a surprisingly enjoyable process for emotional release.

 

3. Change your paradigm.

 

How do you want and choose to respond to life’s challenges? What paradigm of thinking and being do you need to adopt to handle stress in a healthy way?

 

 4.Bio hack your body.

 

It’s harder for stress to stack up when you take care of where it’s trying to live. Basic movement and nutrition will keep the wolf from the door but bio-hacking is where longevity lives. Biohacking is the goal of optimising your health, performance and life using modalities that we have all available to us. A few examples are retraining breathing, light exposure, re-mineralising the body, releasing tension and resetting on a cellular level.

 

5. Lean into a Congruent Identity.

 

Life gets easy when both your conscious and subconscious are singing from the same hymn sheet. Alignment in who you are, what you believe, choose, and stand for makes life way less stressful. This level of heart mind coherence creates a mastery level resourcefulness and resilience.

 

 

To discover even more stress solutions and to go deeper with more practical tips you’ll enjoy these podcast episodes:

- Episode 42, 3 Stress Busting Myths & Tips

- Episode 44, How to deal with overwhelm?

- Episode 46, Is stress really a choice?

Find links to the Stress Relief in Your Pocket Podcast on your favourite platform here.

You might be wondering, if this all really necessary?

 

Perhaps you feel ok most of the time and it’s just the random stressful periods that can get too much. If this is the case for you, please know that’s a form stress stacking in and of itself.

Unless you’ve already let go of the past stress that’s already been stacked, you’re only going to be adding more fuel to fire that could explode at any time. Especially you haven’t mastered the recommendations above.

Remember, stress explosions come in different shapes and sizes for everyone. From small conflicts, poor performance, lethargy - to the more serious such as: emotional breaking point, physical burnout to mental illness.

Just imagine the effects those would have on your loved ones, what it’d mean for your work life and for your own sense of health and happiness.

 

 

As Sigmund Fraud says “Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways”.

It’s your choice.

Remember the backpack full of metaphorical rocks? Full of the stress and unresolved negative emotions and experiences from the past?

It’s time to put it down.

If you don’t, it’ll get heavier and heavier, your problems will worsen and the effects of stress will become greater.

 

Do you want to continue being a stress stacker?

 

If not, complete our scorecard and unlock your free 1:1 game plan with a wellbeing specialist... 

By completing the scorecard you'll get personalized insights on where stress is holding you back and learn how to turn stress into a tool for sustainable performance. 

In your game plan session we'll decode your results and walk away with a step-by-step strategy for success.

 

If you’re experiencing stress explosions and ready to eliminate stress from your world right away then let’s talk to remove all that stress stacking that you've already been doing up until now. 

 

Until next time,

Be Well, Mean Well, Make a Difference that Lasts,

Love Charlotte and Jonathan

 

AUTHOR


Charlotte Stebbing-Mills

Award Winning Stress Relief & Wellbeing Specialist

Co-Founder of The Wellness Theory

With 19+ years experience and her corporate success within the health, fitness and wellness industry, she has worked with hundreds of purpose-led individuals and organizations to move from surviving to thriving.

 

After burning out, she knows first-hand how it feels to feel like something is missing in life, to the point of hitting rock bottom and struggling to get back up again. Mastering the art of healing and high-performance simultaneously is no small feat. 

 

Charlotte can relate to how overwhelming it can be, but she'll also be the first to tell you that there is a way forward. Her own journey is proof that you can bounce back and create the life you always wanted, for yourself and those you love.


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